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February 2008

February 18, 2008

I should not have to say this

I'm already getting crap about Freddie Fratboy in the previous posting, albeit not nearly as much harassment (and no threats as of yet) as when I caught a whole frat cheating in my intro class and they weren't allowed to recruit the next year because the F's brought their GPA's too low.

I shouldn't have to say this, first because the previous post clearly does not apply to everyone in a frat (I know some very caring and decent people who survived the Greek system), and second because any minimally informed person realizes that college fraternities are pernicious. But many people are for whatever reasons unable to parse satire, which by definition is mockery infused with moral rage.  For one source of the moral rage (leading to the comment about date rape not being an intramural sport in the preceding the post) consider all of the following.

(1) Around two percent of female college students are raped in a fraternity house (statistics from which this can be extrapolated here). This is not two percent of all women who are assaulted, rather two percent of all female college students. Likewise, this does not account for rapes committed by fraternity members outside of the house, even though most frat-rats live off campus and many frat parties are now off campus to get around no alcohol and no hazing policies. Thus, especially given the following research, one should reasonably conclude that the number of female college students raped by fraternity members is much higher than two percent.

(2) S. B. Boeringer ((1999). Associations of rape-supportive attitudes with fraternal and athletic participation. Violence Against Women, 5, 81-90) discusses the repulsive attitudes of the average frat-rat. This is summarized here in the following manner.

The author examined rape-supportive attitudes in a sample of fraternity members, university athletes, and a control population. In all, a sample of 477 male university students were recruited. Results indicate that fraternity men report significantly greater endorsement of five statements supportive of rape and adversarial gender beliefs than did the controls. The author also found that athletes reported significantly greater agreement with 14 rape-supportive statements than did men in the control condition. The control group only reported greater agreement with 2 rape-supportive statements. This study tends to support the contention that there is a measurable relationship between rape-supportive attitudes and membership in fraternal or athletic organizations.

(2) T.J. Brown, et. al. ((2002). Understanding sexual aggression against women. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 17, 937-952) showed that fraternity membership (alongside conservative attitudes towards women and viewing contact sports) was a significant predictor of sexual violence against women.

(3) J.D. Foubert ((2000). The longitudinal effects of a rape-prevention program on fraternity men's attitudes, behavioral intent, and behavior. Journal of American College Health, 48, 158-163) showed that the institutional impetus to sexual assault was so great in the fraternity system that anti-rape programs led to no long term decrease in sexually coercive behavior.

(4) M.P. Frintner, et. al. ((1993). Acquaintance rape: The influence of alcohol, fraternity membership, and sports team membership. Journal of Sex Education & Therapy, 19, 272-284) determined that though fraternity members consisted of 25% of the student population (at the predominately white midwestern school they researched), they committed 50% of the campus rape (sports team members were 2% of the population and committed 20% of the rapes).

So no, I don't think I'll remove the bit about Freddie Fratboy, and if it offends you then your priorities are horrendously misplaced. 

Since satire confuses some mentally limited people, let me reiterate non-satirically that I am not being in the least facetious when I say that if there was anything approaching the level of "faculty governance" that the U.S. courts have posited to make it harder for professorial staff to unionize (since the existence of powerless faculty senates apparently makes us management), then all of the frat houses would be seized and either blown up like those orthodox churches circa 1917 Soviet Russia or at least converted into something more useful such as Christian Science reading rooms.

updated list of (Jungian arche-)types of irritating students

One of the three (along with this and this) most googled and linked-to posts on this blog is "updated list of (Jungian arche-)types of irritating professors." Basic fairness dictates equivalent lists for students, administrators, and support staff. Today we begin to rectify this.

This will be a work in progress. I'll add your suggestions, and revise the names to conform to "Rate Your Students" terminology. [Also see Philosophy Factory's breakdown here.] I hope this ultimately catalogs all of their types, with links.

  1. Amy Air Calv: Drawbacks- Living embodiment of all that is unfair about what Jameson used to call "late capitalism." That is, most students don't have parents with enough time, money, and bad parenting skills to swoop in with the family lawyer at the helicopter machine gun port ("Get some! Get some!").  Be prepared to give Amy an incomplete (though she never showed up to class), extra credit (for work not offered to others), and allow her to redo plagiarized work. Amy, her parents, and their lawyers create not only massive extra work for everyone concerned but also (especially among untenured) gut wrenching fear that administrators will get angry at you for not "taking care of it" in a way that doesn't force them to deal with yet another helicopter. And since you can also get in trouble for not being fair to the other students, there is nothing you can do. You, the professor, are screwed. And, moreover, you better not slip up once in any way, and you better be a canned lecture regurgitating robot up there in front of everybody (e.g. one of my colleagues at a previous university slipped the "F" word in class, and this was so psychically traumatic that Amy's F (the grade, not the word) was removed from her record and my colleague who had won teaching awards was reprimanded). Benefits- Often these students have nice social skills and an immense skill at flattery before the velvet gloves come off and the iron fist descends. This could conceivably help set a tone where the other students think the class material is worth learning. [Also see here.]
  2. Andy Angry: Drawbacks- Andy is perversely empowered by school shooters, because professors really, really fear him now. If he talks in class, he will mostly just complain bitterly about you and the fact that he has to take this class. If he attempts to engage the material, this will involve examples that are not only irrelevant but also racist, sexist, and homophobic. If you rebuke him even for just lack of relevance, he will present himself as part of the great victimized conservative movement in this country. If he has prison ink and/or that psychotic I-will-kill-you-with-less-feeling-than-when-I-magnify-glass-burned-ants-as-a-child look in his eyes, you probably should be too scared to report him for academic misconduct. Benefits- May not talk in class. May not show up to class much. To the extent the anger gets expressed other than voting Republican and spewing diatribes ripped off from talk radio, he is statistically likely to take it out on somebody other than you and the students. Most positively though, with Bush/Cheney/Rove's declining political fortunes, anger combined with idiocy has become uncool to our students. As a result, the Angry Andy herd is being thinned out.
  3. Aubrey Ubermench: (from Mark Silcox) Drawbacks- Has read loads of Ayn Rand or Nietzsche outside of class, and only takes an interest in the content of the course when something said by the prof or the textbook author serves to confirm his absolutely irrevocable sense of his own superiority over fellow man. Benefits- Sometimes is actually willing to work pretty hard, which I guess is a benefit, as is the little thrill of pure malice that one gets when giving him a final grade of 'B.'
  4. Chester Cheater: Drawbacks- Given most university policies, Chester ends up taking up a tremendous amount of time. You have to write up a report documenting the plagiarism for the Dean of Students office and then deal with them as well as Chester. Once after giving Chester an incomplete so he could redo the assignment (at the encouragement of the Dean, though without tenure I didn't really have a choice), he cheated on the makeup. I wrote up the report on that and for my labors had to go before the academic dishonesty committee, which included a student campus activist with an uncanny resemblance to Toulouse Lautrec. I kept thinking of those weird paintings of ballerinas. The star chamber grilled me about how my syllabus didn't say enough about plagiarism the whole time since they could not be told this was Chester's second chance. I couldn't tell them why I'd given him an incomplete and they acted as if I was covering something up. Then, while deciding the young man's fate, they made me sit in a room with Chester for an hour. He was very angry and freaking out about getting an F. It sucked, but my situation is better than an untenured friend of mine (at another university) who has been forced by the academic dishonesty committee to give the plagiarizing students the grade they would have gotten had they not plagiarized and then subtract one letter grade from that. They both got B's and continued to openly mock him the whole semester. Benefits- Though the system adds massive amounts of work when you are desperately trying to publish enough to not be fired (as well as do right by the non-cheaters and do administrative stuff), the benefit is that you can convince the student that your hands are tied in a way that minimizes the chance that violence gets aimed at you. [Also see here and here.]
  5. Connor Colleague- Drawbacks- When you are freaking out about the astoundingly uncharitable things referees for peer-reviewed journals have said, it does absolutely nothing for your ego to have Connor tell you "good job" after class. And when he nods and smiles after judging you to have made a good point in class, deep existential anxiety descends. Is this what you slaved through grad. school for? Is this why you lick the boots of your at best clueless baby boomer colleagues? And when Connor "corrects" you and other students on some point for the eight hundredth time, you begin to feel the need to smash something. Benefits- The other students hate him a lot more than you do. In addition, the thought, "Jesus Christ, was I like that as an undergraduate?" might inspire well-needed humility and kindness. Or it might deepen the despair.
  6. Darla Dropslip- Drawbacks- Benefits- [Also see here.]
  7. Donald Dope-Drawbacks- Sends incoherent e-mails at odd hours of the morning. Takes up space with his underachieving self. Sometimes smells bad. Benefits- Generally hurting nobody but himself. Will hook you up with some good s**t (please don't report this blog to the war on drugs; that was a joke). [Also see here.]
  8. Eddie Email- Drawbacks- Your administration might be on Eddie's side, since b.s. boilerplate about using new technologies doesn't cost anything. Well, it doesn't cost anything other than the six figure salary of the Vice Provosts who, in between forcing faculty to write horrendously time consuming (yet unread and useless) reports, reflexively spew the kind of management school garbage that would make any private company go broke within a month. You, the professor, must develop overwhelming passive aggressive kung fu in two directions, fending off students and administrators alike (just think of the time Kane had to fight multiple people blindfolded; you are Kane). Benefits- What does not kill you makes you stronger. The skill at dealing with Eddie is transferable. First, you learn to have no guilt whatsoever when confronted by Eddie about the fact that you did not answer his four e-mails sent to you after midnight the day before the test or assignment was due. This leads you to be able to ignore all of the deranged e-mails sent to you during the brief period between the final exam and when all of your grading has to be done. Then, finally, you are self actualized, staring down from the Nietzschean summit of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, learning to deal assertively with your students, colleagues, and administrators while brushing off unreasonable demands (WARNING: As with the thing about buying drugs from Donald Dope, this is a joke. Do not attempt being assertive in your home department. We are trained professionals on this blog.) [Also see here, here, and here.]
  9. Evan Evangelist: Drawbacks- His smarmy condescension towards the hellbound can grate. Weirdly, Evan is usually pretty smart I.Q.-wise. But then if the Bible is as important as he claims, why doesn't he take some Religious Studies classes and actually learn about its history of composition as well as what those words actually mean in the original languages? Could it be because all students as smart as Evan who do this end up giving up on the claim that the Bible is literally true and hence stop being Evan. Evan is smart, but his religious mandate to convert you the professor (combined with blindness to contrary evidence and reason) retards his ability to write a decent paper, can make him disruptive in class, and entails that you will probably waste hours with him in your office. Benefits- Suffering at the hands of graduated Evans in the Reagan Administration led the Dead Kennedys to pen two punk rock classics, which you can hear here and here. Sometimes Evan's papers are genuinely funny, especially if (as is often the case) he is a closeted homosexual who thinks that Jesus was as obsessed about gay sex as he and his fellow conservative evangelicals. Example- I rarely teach ethics, but in the course of doing so, two separate Evans have argued in final papers that gay marriage must be illegal because if it was legal men would just marry one another and the human species would die out. Well. . . there's something to make you go "hmm." Finally, Evan will often give you weird a-historical books that are popular with evangelicals. If you have more than passing anthropological interest in the poison coursing through the veins of our great Republic, then these books are a goldmine (though sadly not a velvet one).
  10. Fanny Facebook: Drawbacks- Sometimes it is much more difficult to teach when students are so clearly in no way engaged with what the professor is saying. It distracts the other students too. Benefits- She invariably has a wide variety of facial expressions depending upon what is going on with all her Facebook "friends." As she instant messages and notes her way to an F in the class, you get to see the fundamental emotions (the ones we have in common with dogs and lower primates: angry, sad, scared, happy) light across her face several times a class period, all having nothing to do with what's going on in the real world surrounding her. This can be entertaining. Also, from a teaching perspective, is it any worse than the alternative of being stared at in a bored and hostile manner? [Also see here and here.]
  11. Freddie Fratboy: Drawbacks- His very existence is irrefutable proof that "faculty governance" is a complete lie. If faculty had any control over the universities, then there would be no frats, and this ass-hat would be ridden out of town on a rail. Q.E.D. Benefits- The Dead Kennedys wrote a great song about Freddie. Greatest benefit of post-manufacturing economy is that Freddie is now downwardly mobile and will end up taking orders from the nerds he picked on in high school. Is at least courteous enough to identify himself with the sullen and condescending demeanor, a-literacy, submental sense of humor, and stupid looking backwards baseball cap. Most Americans now instinctively know that: (1) fraternity without liberty or equality is fascism, (2) there is something deeply wrong with buying friends, and (3) date rape should not be an intramural sport. [Also see here.]
  12. Grandy Gradegrubber- Drawbacks- Sometimes Grandy has a secret super-villian identity and by his behavior you realize that he periodically morphs into Marshall Manipulator and/or Amy Air Calvary, a transformation that terrifyingly does not even require a Greatest-American-Hero style super-suit. One day Grandy himself is turning on the charm while indicting your unreasonable demand that assignments instantiate such ephemera as grammar, clarity, and having a thesis, and the next day he's morphed and you are dealing with chairs and administrators. Benefits- None. Grandy is so self-deluded that life will never really kick him in the pants, so any revenge fantasies of your own involve self deception. For his entire life, Randy will radically reinterpret everything so that it does not contradict his view of himself as actually talented and deserving. Even worse, if he is socio-pathic enough to succeed at convincing others of his genius, he might end up being Chancellor or Provost of your university, or even President of these United States from the years 2000-2008 C.E. And as the final insult, it's not clear that Dead Kennedys wrote a song indicting this jerkypants. [Also see here.]
  13. Ingrid Involved: (from Neal Hebert) Drawbacks- Frequently misses class (with signed notes by the Dean of Students) to be the Student Government representative at national fundraisers for the University's newest capital outlay program. Often falls asleep during lectures after this week's Up Til Dawn St. Jude's Children's Hospital fundraiser. Assumes student involvement should substitute for academic achievement, and predicts her grades with the efficiency of a horse-bookie in order to ensure that she maintains the University-mandated 2.2 semestrial and cumulative GPA to stay involved. Incessantly asks for five minutes of class time to announce the newest SG initiative or program to bolster student "cohesion," leaving less time for lectures and discussion. Benefits- If hasn't adopted hostile administrative stance towards professors, can often provides useful context and information to supplement rampant professorial speculations about why the University is slashing academic/humanities funding. If professors suck up to Ingrid, and she is so inclined, then her ties with administrators can lead to the bestowal of university-awarded teaching awards and the monetary pittance that goes with them. Incessantly asks for five minutes of class time to announce the newest SG initiative or program to bolster student "cohesion," leaving less time for lectures and discussion. [Also see here.]
  14. Larry Pre-law: (from Robby B) Drawbacks- Professes to everyone not interested that his major is "pre-law," though there is no "pre-law" major; will not claim his real major because he thinks it may not be impressive enough to the "ladies," though it's all moot because he will get into law school anyway because of some horrible legacy plan. Is in your class because of equivocation on his part entailing that what lawyers and philosophers do are somehow the same. Larry could be Freddie Fratboy, or at least alot like him. Always wants to cross-examine you in the manner of the lawyer shows watches on television while drunk and/or high and feels he is uniquely qualified because of his job as a "runner" at his uncle's law firm 10 hours a week. Benefits- ?
  15. Marshall Manipulator: Drawbacks- Benefits-
  16. Mary Maternal: Drawbacks- Takes it upon herself to speak for the whole class in petitioning for you to change the date of the exam. Almost always has some rude habit (bringing McDonald's "food" to class, horrifically smelly perfume, open-mouthedly smacking on gum, inability to sit still) that seems inexplicable given everything else about her. Twice before has bullied the department chair/staff into giving her my home phone number so she could harangue me about the exam. Benefits- The most obnoxious of the male students tend to behave much better when Mary is in the class.
  17. Nancy Nude: Drawbacks- Anything critical you say about her just makes you look sexist in the 1950's American Taliban kind of way (one of my colleagues once confronted Nancy (at the time wearing vaguely see-through pajama bottoms, a too-small tube top, and sandals) in our departmental office and said, "Young lady. Does your mother know you go out in public dressed like that?" He is a nice guy who really wanted to help her, but he sounded like a tool.). Anything humorous you might say about Nancy sounds ugly and sexist in the "free" (for asinine bearded men) love 1960's kind of way. Benefits- Generally not a bad student. Perhaps a visual palliative for pathetic midlife crisis professors contemplating all the money they are going to lose in their second divorce. [Also see here.]
  18. Randy Returning Student- Drawbacks- Is likely to predicate sentences with "in the real world." Benefits- At least it talks. [Also see here.]
  19. Sammy Sullen- Drawbacks- Though Sammy's in class behavior runs the gamut from slouching and  looking disgruntled all the way to openly mocking the professor in class, he always makes teaching a drag. Unfortunately, in freshman classes, Sammy can constitute up to half of the male students. This is because he has not yet had the high school hegemony of "cool" violently kicked out of him.  Benefits- I am just the boot to do it. [Also see here and here.]
  20. Samuel Sickly- Drawbacks- If you routinely depart from your syllabus for him, then you have also routinely rewarded dishonesty. Sometimes when he really is sick he shows up in your office to let you know it's for real and in the process gets germs all over you. Plus, it's really none of your business! I don't even want to know what an anal fissure is, much less that they are the reason Samuel can't make it to class all semester. Finally, so many students now do the Elvis Presley thing of prescribed speed during the daytime (for their ADHD) and prescribed downers at night (for the prescribed speed) that you can end up with nobody in class doing the work on time because they all have psychological excuses. But then there are no rules. Everything is permitted and you not only have war of all against all where life is nasty, brutish, and short but also anarchy descends in a poetic sense, and we're left with a planet of these sick bastards up to no good snuffling towards Bethlehem. Benefits- I'm serious, the drug-addled Fat Elvis was way better than Skinny Elvis. Fat Elvis fired the horrible Jordiniares back up singers and regained artistic control from Colonel Parker. And he rocked. Go watch the "Aloha Show" if you doubt this. The fact that Americans voted for the Skinny Elvis stamp is just one more example of how we are failing as educators. [Also see here.]
  21. Simon SuperkeenerDrawbacks- The other students resent you the professor, for not shutting this windbag up. Benefits- At least it does talk. Learning to deal with Simon may help you learn to deal with other socially hopeless people. William S. Burroughs says that you should look people like this in the eye and think, "I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. . ." until they shut up. If that doesn't work you are supposed to say, "Tell a shrink. I am not being compensated for listening to this." When you find that neither of these things work with Simon, the last vestiges of your faith in the author of Naked Lunch will vanish. This is not such a bad thing. Ultimately he himself really was just the loudest drunk at the bar, a beatnik Simon if you will. [Also see here and here.]
  22. Seymore Sleepy: Drawbacks- If he is the type of Seymore that stays at home to sleep, chances are that he will hassle you about his grade. Benefits- If he is the type of Seymore who actually comes to class, only to immediately fall asleep, great fun can be had at his expense. You can hide his backpack. If your classroom is on the ground floor, you can get the entire class to sneak out and stare at him through the windows. When you bang on the glass he'll briefly wonder where he is.
  23. Sparky Spook: Drawbacks- Even though Sparky misses over half the class periods, he will inevitably: (a) angrily and self-righteously blame you for his bad grade, and (b) show up on the day student evaluation forms are handed out. Benefits- The Stoics or the Romans (I don't know exactly who, but I'm sure it was guys who wore those weird skirt things and sandles but still kicked butt with swords) used to say that hunger is the best dressing. Likewise, some things are better for their absence. Almost certainly Sparky is. [Also see here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.]
  24. Stanley Student Athlete: Drawbacks- In most cases is illiterate and aggrieved. Can send you into an intensive care unit should he so desire. Instead of wasting four years ruining his health via tendon damage and bodily injuries, might actually excel academically at a community college, or perhaps vocational-technical school, or perhaps whatever is on offer at the correctional facility he may still wind up in. In rare cases is actually a nice guy, which makes the fact that he is a dimbulb getting ripped off by a world ruled by idiots all the more depressing. In very rare cases, may actually not be a dimbulb, which makes the fact that he could have afforded college without destroying his health and missing all his classes even more depressing. Finally, with the exception of professional wrestling and competitive figure skating, sports are boring and stupid. I mean, this is a university for God's sake. Why don't they build a huge-ass stadium for the chess team or math squad or some s**t like that? Benefits-  If you are lucky enough to teach in a department that does not have required classes (As a Philosopher, it would be remiss for me not to say "Booyah! In your face English Department!") and maintains anything approaching standards (I would say something about "general studies" (or whatever equivalent your university has to try to keep graduation rates high enough to game the relevant U.S. News and World Report statistic), education, kinesiology, business, or sports medicine here, but that would be rude; let me humbly suggest that interested parties look at average student GPA's in these majors (the highest) as well as average SAT scores (the lowest) for people in them), then you won't have to deal with Stanley. [Also see here and here.]
  25. Wally Warbucks: Drawbacks- Will miss large swaths of class due to trips funded by super-rich parents. Benefits- Will miss large swaths of class due to trips funded by super-rich parents. [Also see here.]
  26. Wanda Waterworks: Drawbacks- While weeping, tells you things that are none of your business, usually to explain missing over half of the class periods while simultaneously trying to get you to violate the stated policy of your syllabus. As with Samuel Sickley, if you reliably respond in the desired manner then you have rewarded dishonesty multiple times, and for that matter are always being unfair to students who have rightfully internalized the wisdom of Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca. Benefits- The best thing to do is to solicitously direct Wanda to the health clinic, the ombudsperson, or the relevant administrative staff. If she's faking, then it's a brilliant passive aggressive bit of psychological kung fu on your part. If she's not, then maybe you piled up some good Karma and increased the chance of not being reborn as a tree-sloth or worse next time around.
  27. Wilbur Whinger: [Also see here.]
  28. Willy Wayward: (from Mark Silcox) Drawbacks - Wears a carefully cultivated goatee and expensive concert shirts for bands that are sort of indie and esoteric, but maybe not really (think Weezer, Coldplay, System of a Down, etc.). Is enrolled in Business School, "cause my folks, like, thought it would be a good idea." Claims to be a guitar virtuoso. Develops morbid temporary fascination with liberal arts topics, leading to endless conversations during office hours about The Meaning of (His) Life. Will not read, cannot write. Professes to despise the prospect of a career in business, but would never seriously dream of leaving Business School. Benefits- At least he's interested, albeit perhaps in the sense that hypocrisy is vice paying tribute to virtue..

February 17, 2008

Wisdom from February 2008

Brianfinke_fratboyz2from Mikhail Emelianov

. . . .let us begin with important distinctions between several groups of student communicators:

(a) Casual Informer: This is usually a guy (in most cases likely to be a "€œdude"€) who just wants to inform you that he is not going to be able to make it to class or to take the test - no explanation is given, no excuse is produced, just a casual "€œI thought you should know" message.

(b) Neurotic Informer: This one is a type of email that you are very likely to get two or three times ("just making sure you got this one, because I've checked my email 26 times in the last hour and you have not yet responded to my note"€) - however, despite the neurotic desperation and obvious anxiety, it does not really contain any legitimate excuse, or, if it does, it is usually something very banal.

(c) Pleading Informer: This is an appeal to your sense of pity, your humanity, your love of animals, your sense of justice etc. Student appeals to a variety of common enough feelings but in a way that hits too many targets and thus destroys the ultimate effect it was meant to have.

Awol_fratboy_pos_2(d) Demanding Informer: Not only is this one informing you that a person will not be in class and gives very little in the form of an explanation, it also asks that you provide a detailed account of what will be taking (took) place in the class and promptly report back to the student (sometimes by phone with a number included).

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from Andrew Sullivan

By focusing on waterboarding, we can sometimes forget that the other "alternative techniques" for "enhanced interrogation" are also forms of torture, even when they leave no permanent marks, or, in the words of AEI's John Yoo, do not cause major organ failure. The term "stress position" for example, when uttered by someone like Rush Limbaugh, who described some of what happened at Abu Ghraib as nothing more serious than fraternity hazing, can seem banal, even defensible. These positions, which the president strongly supports, can nonetheless become very quickly hideous acts of cruelty. Here's a photo of what the Nazis called Pfahlbinden.

Nazipfahlbinden

You can seen that individuals are contorted just by the weight of their own bodies into positions of excruciating pain that lasts until it is unbearable. In this picture, it does not appear that the methods are being used to interrogate. They are being used for sadistic purposes. They are worse thah the 'stress positions" we have evidence of in US custody because the Nazi prisoners were literally suspended in the air, their feet barely touching the ground.. But the victums of US stress positions were chained to fixtures and wall with hands chained above and behind the head, with feet barely on the ground. They had a tiny bit more support for their feet, but it often made the procedure longer and in end, therefore, more painful.

When you hear a banal phrase like "stress position", and hear people dismiss it, remember that everything is in the doing. And when human beings are given total control over others, they are capable of great evil. Sane and civilized societies do not give permission for such things. And they do not make excuses for them. And when they discover they have been done, they investigate and prosecute those who broke the law.

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from Marty Lederman

JesusbushtortureSenator McCain rightly insists that the U.S. may not (i) torture; (ii) engage in cruel treatment prohibited by Common Article 3; or (iii) engage in conduct that shocks the conscience, under the McCain Amendment. He also insists that waterboarding violates each of these legal restrictions, that the Bush Administration’s legal analysis has been dishonest and flatly wrong, and that we need “a good faith interpretation of the statutes that guide what is permissible in the CIA program.”

The Feinstein Amendment would have accomplished all of these objectives, but Senator McCain voted against it, presumably because he wishes that the CIA be permitted to continue the use of other of its enhanced techniques, apart from waterboarding. Those techniques are reported to include stress positions, hypothermia, threats to the detainee and his family, severe sleep deprivation, and severe sensory deprivation. Senator McCain has not explained which of these he thinks are not torture and cruel treatment, nor which he would wish to preserve for use by the CIA. But if the President does as he has promised and follows Senator McCain’s lead by vetoing this bill, the CIA will continue to assert the right to use all of these techniques — and possibly waterboarding, as well.

821328494_f00ceab139By contrast, Senator Clinton supports the Feinstein amendment, and Senator Obama does, too.

If Senator McCain believes that there are particular “enhanced” techniques that are not in the [U.S. Army's] Field Manual, but that are also not torture or cruel treatment, and wishes to allow the CIA to use them, he should identify what they are, and offer legislation that would authorize those, and those only, techniques, in addition to those listed in the Field Manual. Otherwise, despite all his worthy efforts in this area, Senator McCain is now facilitating the CIA’s use of techniques that are unlawful, including some that are torture even by Senator McCain’s own lights.

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from Nicholas Kristoff

TortureThe most famous journalist you may never have heard of is Sami al-Hajj, an Al Jazeera cameraman who is on a hunger strike to protest abuse during more than six years in a Kafkaesque prison system.

Mr. Hajj’s fortitude has turned him into a household name in the Arab world, and his story is sowing anger at the authorities holding him without trial.

That’s us. Mr. Hajj is one of our forgotten prisoners in Guantánamo Bay.

If the Bush administration appointed an Under Secretary of State for Antagonizing the Islamic World, with advice from a Blue Ribbon Commission for Sullying America’s Image, it couldn’t have done a more systematic job of discrediting our reputation around the globe. Instead of using American political capital to push for peace in the Middle East or Darfur, it is using it to force-feed Mr. Hajj.

. . . .Suppose the Iranian government arrested and beat Katie Couric, held her virtually incommunicado for six years and promised to release her only if she would spy for Iran. In such circumstances, Iranian investments in public diplomacy toward the United States wouldn’t get very far, either.

After Mr. Hajj was arrested in Afghanistan in December 2001, he was beaten, starved, frozen and subjected to anal searches in public to humiliate him, his lawyers say. The U.S. government initially seems to have confused him with another cameraman, and then offered vague accusations that he had been a financial courier and otherwise assisted extremist groups.

Torture2. . . .Most Americans, including myself, originally gave President Bush the benefit of the doubt and assumed that the inmates truly were “the worst of the worst.” But evidence has grown that many are simply the unluckiest of the unluckiest.

Some were aid workers who were kidnapped by armed Afghan groups and sold to the C.I.A. as extremists. One longtime Sudanese aid worker employed by an international charity, Adel Hamad, was just released by the U.S. in December after five years in captivity. A U.S. Army major reviewing his case called it “unconscionable.”

Mr. Hajj began his hunger strike more than a year ago, so twice daily he is strapped down and a tube is wound up his nose and down his throat to his stomach. Sometimes a lubricant is used, and sometimes it isn’t, so his throat and nose have been rubbed raw. Sometimes a tube still bloody from another hunger striker is used, his lawyers say.

“It’s really a regime to make it as painful and difficult as possible,” said one of his lawyers, Zachary Katznelson.

Mr. Hajj cannot bend his knees because of abuse he received soon after his arrest, yet the toilet chair he was prescribed was removed — making it excruciating for him to use the remaining squat toilet. He is allowed a Koran, but his glasses were confiscated so he cannot read it.

All this is inhumane, but also boneheaded. Guantánamo itself does far more damage to American interests than Mr. Hajj could ever do.

To stand against torture and arbitrary detention is not to be squeamish. It is to be civilized.

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from Phillip Larkin (with apologies to Sadie)

Maharishi_mahesh_yogi Sexual intercourse began
In nineteen sixty-three
(which was rather late for me) -
Between the end of the Chatterley ban
And the Beatles' first LP.

Up to then there'd only been
A sort of bargaining,
A wrangle for the ring,
A shame that started at sixteen
And spread to everything.

Then all at once the quarrel sank:
Everyone felt the same,
And every life became
A brilliant breaking of the bank,
A quite unlosable game.

So life was never better than
In nineteen sixty-three
(Though just too late for me) -
Between the end of the Chatterley ban
And the Beatles' first LP.        

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from ee cummings

Buffalo Bill's

defunct

        who used to

        ride a watersmooth-silver

                                  stallion

and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat

                                                  Jesus



he was a handsome man

                      and what i want to know is

how do you like your blueeyed boy

Mister Death

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from Tara McKevey

Kingsley_smallThere is a difference between satire and mockery. Satire, in its highest form, is inspired by rage.

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from Jack Kerouac

Best_birdEverything is the same, the fog says "We are fog and we fly by dissolving like ephemera," and the leaves say "We are leaves and we jiggle in the wind, that's all, we come and go, grow and fall" -- Even the paper bags in my garbage pit say "We are man-transformed paper bags made out of wood pulp, we are kinda proud of being paper bags as long as that will be possible, but we'll be mush again with our sisters the leaves come rainy season" -- The tree stumps say "We are tree stumps torn out of the ground by men, sometimes by wind, we have big tendrils full of earth that drink out of the earth" -- Men say "We are men, we pull out tree stumps, we make paper bags, we think wise thoughts, we make lunch, we look around, we make a great effort to realize everything is the same" -- While the sand says "We are sand, we already know," and the sea says "We are always come and go, fall and plosh" -- The empty blue sky of space says "All this comes back to me, then goes again, and comes back again, then goes again, and I don't care, it still belongs to me" -- The blue sky adds "Don't call me eternity, call me God if you like, all of you talkers are in paradise: the leaf is paradise, the man is paradise, the sand is paradise, the sea is paradise, the man is paradise, the fog is paradise."

. . . .But I remember seeing a mess of leaves suddenly go skittering in the wind and into the creek, then floating rapidly down the creek towards the sea, making me feel a nameless horror. . . . "Oh my god, we're all being swept away to sea no matter what we know or say or do" -- and a bird who was on a crooked branch is suddenly gone without my even hearing him.

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from Kay S. Hymowitz

And that “coolness” points to what may be the deepest existential problem with the child-man—a tendency to avoid not just marriage but any deep attachments. This is British writer Nick Hornby’s central insight in his novel About a Boy. The book’s antihero, Will, is an SYM whose life is as empty of passion as of responsibility. He has no self apart from pop-culture effluvia, a fact that the author symbolizes by having the jobless 36-year-old live off the residuals of a popular Christmas song written by his late father. Hornby shows how the media-saturated limbo of contemporary guyhood makes it easy to fill your days without actually doing anything. “Sixty years ago, all the things Will relied on to get him through the day simply didn’t exist,” Hornby writes. “There was no daytime TV, there were no videos, there were no glossy magazines. . . . Now, though, it was easy [to do nothing]. There was almost too much to do.”

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from Bob Herbert

. . . .do we have any real sense of what Senator Obama will do to stop the stagnation of the middle class and resuscitate the American dream? Do we have any reason to believe that during a Clinton presidency we’ll see a transformation of the nation’s decaying infrastructure? Does John McCain have the stuff to lead us from a long debilitating period of dependence on foreign oil to a new and exciting world of energy efficiency and innovation?

The essential question the candidates should be trying to answer — but that is not even being asked very often — is how to create good jobs in the 21st century. Thirty-seven million Americans are poor, and roughly 60 million others are near-poor. (These are people struggling to make it on incomes of $20,000 to $40,000 a year for a family of four.)

The middle class is hardly flourishing. In testimony before a House subcommittee last year, Harley Shaiken, a Berkeley professor who is an expert on labor and employment, remarked: “During a period of robust economic growth, record profits and the fastest sustained productivity increases since the 1950s, only a thin slice at the top of the economic heap is enjoying higher living standards.”

Now the country is faced with a possible recession and the likelihood of moving further backward rather than forward on employment.

“We’re building exit ramps from the middle class,” said Mr. Shaiken during an interview. “But what is the path to the middle class for most Americans now? We need to figure out how to resume building entrance ramps.”

The most direct route to the middle class has always been a good job. An obvious potential source of new jobs would be a broad campaign to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure — its roads, bridges, schools, levees, water treatment facilities and so forth.

Another area with big job creation potential is the absolutely vital quest to develop alternative sources of energy. That effort should carry the same high national priority that was accorded the Manhattan Project during World War II. I’d even call it Manhattan II.

There are moments in history that demand not just talent in a nation’s leadership, but greatness — men or women with the courage to dream bigger and the ability to convince others that those dreams can be realized.

The presidential candidates don’t seem to be rising to the nation’s many crucial challenges with the sense of urgency and the creative vision that is called for. Not yet, at least.

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from Steve Martin

JerkweblargeAround this time I smelled a rat. The rat was the Age of Aquarius. Though the era's hairstyles, clothes, and lingo still dominated youth culture, by 1972 the movement was tired and breaking down. Drugs had killed people, and so had Charles Manson. The war in Vietnam was near its official end, but its devastating losses had embittered and divided America. The political scene was exhausting, and many people, including me, were alienated from government. Murders and beatings at campus protests weren't going to be resolved by sticking a daisy into the pointy end of a rifle. Flower Power was waning, but no one wanted to believe it yet, because we had all invested so much of ourselves in its message. Change was imminent.

I cut my hair, shaved my beard, and put on a suit. I stripped my act of all political references. To politics I was saying, "I'll get along without you very well. It's time to be funny." Overnight, I was no longer at the tail end of an old movement but at the front end of a new one. Instead of looking like another freak with a crazy act, I now looked like a visitor from the straight world who had gone seriously awry.

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from Ron Rosenbaum

Let us now praise incandescence. Not just the word but the phenomenon, the warm radiance of glowing coals, the soft flare of tungsten filament fire.

Let us praise it because its beauty is suddenly under siege. For certain grimly utilitarian environmentalists, aesthetic beauty is not an especially important environmental value. Beauty's glass slipper can't compete with the environmentalists' tiny carbon footprint.

Yes, the idiots in Congress, too torpid and ineffectual to pass a health-care bill for children, have busy-bodied themselves in a bumbling way with the way you light up your world. In December, they passed legislation that will, in practice, outlaw incandescent bulbs because they won't be able to meet the new law's strict energy-efficiency standards. The result: Between 2012 and 2014, incandescent bulbs will be driven from the market. Replaced by the ugly plasticine Dairy Queen swirl of compact fluorescent lights.

From a purely environmental perspective, this move is shortsighted. CFLs do use less energy, which is good. But they also often contain mercury, one of the most damaging—and lasting—environmental toxins. Not a ton of mercury, but still: A whole new CFL recycling structure will be required to prevent us from releasing deadly neurotoxins into the water table. CFLs: coming soon to sushi near you.

Failing to properly recycle your CFLs won't be the same as putting an Evian bottle in the wrong slot. It'll be genuinely hazardous, particularly dangerous to children. Way to go, congressional dimbulbs!

And God forbid you break a bulb. If you do, you are advised by some experts to evacuate the room for 15 minutes to escape the release of mercury vapor, then scrub the area as though there'd been a plutonium spill, virtually wearing a hazmat suit as you dispose of the glass shards.

Good luck. But the greater crime of the new bulbs is not environmental but aesthetic. Think of the ugly glare of fluorescence, the light of prisons, sterile cubicle farms, precinct stations, emergency rooms, motor vehicle bureaus, tenement hallways—remember Tom Wolfe's phrase for the grim, flickering hallway lights in New York tenements: "landlords' haloes"?—and, of course, morgues. Fluorescents seem specially designed to drain life and beauty from the world. Don't kid yourself if you hope Hell is lit by fire. More likely fluorescents.

Yes, fluorescents. Buzzing, flickering, able to cause epileptic seizures in the susceptible, in addition to headaches and other neurological symptoms. Let's smash all the incandescent lights and replace their glowing beauty with the harsh anatomizing light of fluorescence. The flickering tinny corpse light of bureaucracies and penal institutions.

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February 16, 2008

four dumb things I've heard about parenting this week alone

Thomas220089(1) My dogs are my children.

Dogs feel pleasure and pain, clearly have emotions, and are on the borderline of being autonomous. We have strong moral obligations towards them, and a dog owner should have maternal and paternal feelings towards their pet. Moreover, people who buy a dog, put him on a chain, and leave him alone in the yard to go crazy are horrifically cruel and deserve long spells in prison and worse.

All this being said, I must quote Ben Kingsley. "No. No. No. No. No. No. No."

Do you wake up every few hours to spend up to an hour feeding, changing, and playing with your dogs? Do you make sure a responsible caregiver is with your dogs 24/7? Are your dogs the most important thing in the world to you, even more important than your spouse? Would you and your spouse give your lives for the dogs?

If the answer to any of these questions "no," then your damn dogs are not your kids. If the answer to any of them is "yes," you need professional help beyond my purview as a tenured professor of Philosophy.

(2) People on planes don't mind crying babies.

No comment should be necessary, but several people have told me this one now. So here goes.

Thomas2_140Human beings innately respond to the cry of an infant. We were almost certainly selected by evolution to want to do something to help when we hear it. So when your baby is crying during the whole flight you are causing psychic disequilibrium to the nicest (most empathic) people on the plane. As decent parents it should be enough psychic disequilibrium for you not to subject your baby to the United States sub-third world airline travel in any case. Which brings us to the next lie.

(3) He's at a great age to fly.

First off, nobody is at a great age to fly on any of the United States carriers. The airports are smelly, overcrowded pits of schizophrenic level noise pollution (thanks bluetooth and CNN!). The flights are late half the time. The airplane seats could be used by the Spanish Inquisition. The air on the planes is painfully dry. The surfaces of the seats, trays, etc. are filthy, literally crawling with living fecal bacteria. The planes are overcrowded way past what fire code sensibly requires for buildings on the ground. The bathrooms, if you are lucky enough to get to one, are both tiny and filthy. You can get stuck in an un-airconditioned, overcrowed plane on the runway for hours (has happened to me several times). And invariably the guy next to you is: (a) way too big for the seat (I'm guilty of this), (b) destroying the little bit of air you have with the unbelievable stench of McDonald's "food," and (c) won't shut the hell up during and after shoveling that garbage into his disgusting maw.

Thomas2_141No sane person would put themselves through this, let alone a defenseless baby. In addition to the above: (a) the pressure change (airliners are pressurized at 10,000 feet, which is powerful enough to kill a couple of people a year when their intestines explode from not being able to equalize to it) can be excruciatingly painful to babies, (b) you have to get on the stupid plane at a designated time (which you don't know ahead of time, because the planes are late) independent of whether your baby is hungry, needs to be changed, or freaking out about the damn airport and in need of comfort.

All this being said, in many other countries (including most small Asian countries that were considered second and third world during the Cold War) flying is not nearly as horrible as it is in the United States. The seats are rationally designed for the human being's spinal column. The planes are not as overcrowded. The airports are quiet and meditative. The employees are not overworked and actually help you. And you can actually have some rational expectation that your flight will arrive when it is supposed to (making planning for getting the child on the plane much more doable). Who knows?  Maybe in such countries it wouldn't be as impossible.

Thomas2_142Unfortunately though, it is hard to see air travel getting anything but worse in the United States. Consider our other withering infrastructure (levees, rail, bridges, telecom, etc.), crappy education system, falling behind in pure science, our medieval healthcare system where doctors spend half their time on the phone with stupid insurance companies and have to hire a whole staff just to deal with them and where universities do all the drug research and pharamaceutical companies spend half their profits on advertizing and guzzle up the rest, etc. Even though all of the statistics are widely available on the web, and all you have to do (for example) is just talk to an actual Canadian or French person about their healthcare, the vast majority of Americans have no idea that the rest of the civilized world is now beating us now in every way except for helping to make life overwhelmingly miserable for the people unfortunate enough to live in countries with oil (though we seem to be getting worse at that as well). WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!  No we're not. The only positive quantifiable thing we lead the world in is graduate education, which accounts for our technological edge (albeit one that France, China, and India are quickly catching up with). Ironically, the politicians who warn us about becoming "The France of the 21st century" are the most antagonistic towards higher education and towards the immigrants who make our great graduate education system possible. Go figure.

The upshots are: (a) don't expect transportation to improve one whit in the United States any time soon, and ergo (b) don't subject your child to air travel.

Thomas2_143_2(4) He needs to be eating solid food.

Well meaning relatives are constantly haranguing us about this: (a) whether Thomas is getting enough food, and (b) why we aren't giving him cereal yet. Contra this: (a) all the books we have say that we're doing things the right way, (b) our doctor specifically told us not to start him on cereal until after the next visit, and (c) he's a happy (see enclosed photographic evidence), healthy (talk with our doctor) baby. We have expressed this to the relatives over and over again, to no avail. We're supposed to go against what our doctor says because of what they remember (possibly incorrectly) doing in the 1970's. Jeez.

You can't win.

On the other hand, one of the many great things about parenthood is that stuff that used to irritate the hell out of you seems much less consequential. I'm going to go read "The Angry Rooster" with my little buddy (Thomas, not my dog Charlie) now.

February 13, 2008

"progressive" equals "sucks"

"Progressive" is a manifestly hateful word in all of its various meanings.

Prohibition_1(1) The original "progressive movement" at the beginning of this century brought us prohibition. Shame on them and their left and rightwing American Taliban descendents. Move to Saudi Arabia if you like state sanctioned Puritanism so much.   

(2) Anything that purports to be rock but doesn't bear at least a minimal Wittgensteinian family resemblance to the music on the Stooges "Fun House" isn't really rock. More to the point it isn't really good. Ergo, "progressive rock" is horrible. Q.E.D.

(3) Political "progressives" invariably would rather make a point than make a buck. If they can feel morally superior to everybody else  that's O.K., even if the price is the ever increasing Brazilification of the United States because these bozos are what passes for the left now. Fine, don't shop at Walmart. Be vegan. So what. Just don't pretend that that has very much to do with being a good person or that it will make any difference to the amount of suffering in the world.

As far as I can tell, all forms of "progressivism" carry with them self-defeating and absolutely misplaced condescension. Feh!

February 11, 2008

possibly the worst thing I've done yet

If the angel Gabriel could come down and show each of us the worst thing we've ever done, none of us would be proud.

You could just look at C-- and tell that something was off. He had buzz-cut hair and these really big plastic glasses with the two ear pieces attached by string like some skiers wear. He was over six feet tall and carried his weight around his hips more than his waist. As a result, he looked more like a giant, tubby six-year old than a man in his twenties.

C-- was a loser and not very good at his job. He had initially applied to work in the automotive garage on the premise that he'd ordered a set of VHS tapes about how to be a mechanic. Instead, they put him in receiving with the rest of the misfits. But he was convinced he was a mechanic and would confidently volunteer for any task involving machinery. This always ended badly. For example, when the accordian-like metal wheeled conveyer belt got stuck in its shut position, C-- went at it with a wrench, hammer, and screwdriver, taking apart about two feet of the belt. But then he couldn't get it back together. It just lay there like a dead octupus. When something like this happened C-- would get really angry and start nodding his head "no," while moaning "uuuunh"  and flailing his arms in time. His face would turn red as this one vein on his forehead popped out. If there was machinery involved you just had to get out of the way. During that particular rainman freakout he beat the hell out of the dissassembled conveyer belt with the hammer.

I got very good at baiting C-- just short of one of his freak-outs, and the other employees loved me for it. This, I think, is probably the white trash version of bullfighting- see how many insults you can throw at the most emotionally deranged person in the workplace without getting seriously injured. Example- every day at lunch we all watched the soap opera "The Young and the Restless," and C-- took it far more seriously than the rest of us. I quickly found out that I could get him upset by interpreting the show in non-standard ways. In the storyline at the time, the rock-star character "Danny Romalotti" (the actor was a one hit wonder in real life, having recorded perhaps the worst version of a song that many people covered). In storyline, someone had left a bag full of six pounds of cocaine in Romalotti's dressing room and called the cops on him. Then for weeks all the good guys had to try to establish Romalotti's innocence. Now this is transparently absurd. For an intent to distribute mandatory minimum of ten years, the suspect need only be caught with 500 grams (1.1 pounds). Which idiot-boy drug lord is going to waste 4.9 pounds of coke? None, if you wasted that much coke in short order you'd get wasted yourself. Moreover, at that time the same sentence kicked in for only 5 grams of crack! So the Young and the Restless criminal masterminds used almost four hundred times the amount of coke necessary to send young Danny to the big house. Give me a break.

But instead of pointing out these and similar plot idiocies, during all of those weeks I pretended that I thought that it might really have been Romalotti's cocaine. This caused C-- to become unhinged. Weirdly, instead of pointing out to me that in every episode they showed flashbacks to the Snidely Whiplash characters putting the coke in his dressing room, C-- would yell about what a good man Danny Romalotti was. I'd say something like, "I don't know C--; those rock and roll musicians all seemed to be caught up in drugs. I think maybe it was his coke," and C-- would turn red, bang his fist on the table and say something like, "Danny Romalotti does not use drugs!" Again, just like the real thing, redneck bullfighting requires grace and finesse in order to avoid getting gored and/or trampled. I always knew when to pull back, in this case when he looked like he was going to start nodding his head "no" and moaning I'd admit that he was right, that Danny had showed himself to be an upstanding man in his relationship with his girlfriend "Crickett," and that his music was uplifting unlike those other rock and roll bands.

C-- was such an unpleasant person to work with, that it never occurred to anyone that what I was doing was cruel. We all played the insult-game with each other, and if you couldn't play the game well then in the Darwinian world that is retail employment, that was your fault. The weak get eaten by the strong.

However, one day my social worker friend V-- looked up C-- on her computer. At her job, there was a list of all of the mentally retarded and mentally ill people registered with the county. It turned out that C-- was in both lists. He had also been in mental institutions more than once after assaulting people.

C-- was irritating and dangerous, but the fact is that for a period of a couple of months, I had picked on a retarded guy. And unlike C-- with is messed up brain, I was fully responsible for my behavior.

I'm convinced that V-- is an angel of God. She actually broke the law and jeopardized her career by telling me about C--'s record, but her doing so radically changed my life. 

Most people are doing the best they can in pretty difficult circumstances. The next time somebody is rude, aggressive, selfish, or just massively incompetent try to remember that. Given the ubiquity of greed and ignorance, we need to remember this all the time. Almost everybody you interact with is in the midst of some difficult battle and is also doing the best they can.

C-- did the best he could. His brain didn't work very well and he was trying to hold down a job that he'd gotten without help from any state services. He deserved better than us.

February 08, 2008

more Daves

Eggers05092005 For some reason, I am perpetually doomed to be outclassed and out-cooled and sometimes pummelled in my dreams by people with the first name Dave.

This time I was at a party for the University of Central Oklahoma undergraduate philosophy conference and Dave Eggers was there. It made me real nervous and I went over to try to tell him how much I liked A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and Believer magazine. I was trying to say something interesting about the last sentence-paragraph of the book, comparing it to the last paragraph of On the Road, but in the dream I couldn't really express myself.

Eggers said, "Man, you're not real good at making party small-talk are you?"

And I said, "It's just that you reach a certain age and it's hard to get interested in what anyone has to say and even harder to say anything yourself. You've heard it all and don't want to contribute to the redundancy."

Eggers said, "Well I've heard that one before," and then walked away.

Crap. Predictible Cogburn flameout around one of my favorite public intellectuals. At least he didn't beat me up though.

thoughts on On the Road versus Dharma Bums

013815img1One question I've been concerning myself with is why Kerouac's On the Road is so much better than everything else he wrote.

There is a clear biographical answer. The "scroll version" he wrote in two weeks on coffee (not Benzedrine, as the myth has it) was actually like the fifth time he'd written up the material, and he was transcribing very well worked out and commented on by friends routines at that point. Then he massively rewrote the scroll version once and then his rewrite was massively rewritten again by an editor in the tradition of Max Perkins (who effectively co-wrote Fitzgerald, Hemingway, and Wolfe).

Kerouac himself began to believe the myth of "spontaneous bop prosody," thinking the first write was in some way holy. While this worked really well for his unpublished until after he died Visions of Cody, which consists in a bunch of poetic sketches, his narrative stuff after Road is much worse for not being rewritten.

But this does not answer the question. What is it about, say, Dharma Bums that makes it so much worse than On the Road? I think I've figured this out.

On the Road is very impressionistic. The narrator does not reveal very much of his inner life. He just tells you everything that is going on with the people, events, and places around him. We really only get a view of him in terms of how people react to him (e.g. when the Joan Burroughs character, I forget her in text name, says "Same old Sal" after he does something particularly naive). But somehow by the end of the novel there is a sadness in what he writes. He realizes that Cassidy is not really a saint, but he still can't stop thinking about him and the promise he once held. This, plus the strange spiritual stuff (i.e. his dream of the snake that he tells people about, etc)  is in part why it is the great American novel, we see the narrator go from innocence to experience.

With Dharma Bums you constantly get the narrator's editorializing about what is going on. The feeling is that the writer is narrating here, not the narrator who is acting in the fictitious universe.  And some of it is deluded. Unlike with Road, there is no distance between the writer and the narrator. Maybe if he had used everybody's real names (i.e. Gary Snyder instead of the ludicrous "Japhy Ryder") this would not have made everything ring as falsely as it does from a novelistic perspective. It's maddening, because parts of Dharma Bums is brilliant. What you have is a fantastic, albeit extremely rough draft about somebody desperately trying to embrace Buddhism to try to deal with the tragic aspects of life, but it doesn't really work and he still has to drink himself insensible. With On the Road, the writer was aware that the promised liberation of Cassidy et. al. wasn't going to make up for the tragic aspects of life, but through rewriting he very skillfully shows the narrator slowly coming to grasp this.

Kerouac was always too smart and too attuned to the tragic to buy into the liberatory promises of either the beatniks or the hippies (and Dharma Bums was part of the hippie canon). But he bought into his own bullshit about the writing process, one that totally misdescribed how his masterpiece was written. Given the man's talents, and how this led his other books (e.g. Desolation Angels) to completely degenerate into hastily scrawled, psychologically obtuse diary entries, this in itself is a pretty big tragedy I think.

February 05, 2008

It ain't easy to get to heaven when you're going down

Ag41kerouac1I've been enjoying the fruits of the beatnik era again (I'm almost done with the "original scroll" version of On the Road, and am going to read the "visions of cody" version next), and I discovered something really weird. Almost all of the travelling Kerouac chronicled in Road was done after completing successive drafts of his first novel (The Town and the City, which is supposedly supbar Thomas Wolfe, I haven't read it yet).

I was always too much of a coward to have adventures like Kerouac and gang, and am now too happily ensconced in middle class life in any case (something Kerouac always wanted but never really attained), but after Mark Silcox and I finished the ready-for-referees draft of Philosophy Through Video Games a couple of days ago, I understand why Kerouac kept taking off.

Maybe this is like a much less severe version post-partum depression. I don't know. You feel pretty empty. It's certainly like a much more severe version of something that happens to me at the end of every semester.

I always get out of these funks with aplomb. Once you realize what is happening you can modulate your behavior so as to be less grumpy and snarky, and then once the behavior changes the affect changes as well.

February 01, 2008

This isn't me. I am not mechanical.

358pxnietzsche_schreibmaschinejpgYesterday, Silcox and I Fed-Exed Philosophy Through  Video Games to Routledge's New York offices. It should get there this morning.

This has probably been the hardest sustained bout of work that I've ever done, including candidacy exams, finishing the dissertation, and when I was teaching four classes a semester on a year to year contract. Of course it was not nearly as emotionally fraught as those times. It's fun to write with Mark, and my economic livelihood does not rest on this book.

We tried as hard as we could, given the timeline, to make the book accessible and rigorous. At this point the Routledge editors decide whether to send it out for another round of refereeing. If they do, then when they get the reports back they'll decide what we should change.

I'm not worried about this. From our experience thus far with the Routledge editors, I know that if they want us to change it, then it will be better for those changes.

The sad thing is that I want to be lazy for a few weeks, playing a new computer game. But the only two new games I want to play right now are Spore and Fallout 3, neither of which is going to be released for months.

I tried World of Warcraft for research while writing the book, and I just didn't get it. It felt like rehashed Diablo II to me. After playing Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, I just couldn't go back. Well, the brilliance of World of Warcraft is clearly the multi-player aspect, which I don't really care about personally. I guess I play video games in part to get away from people. If I wanted to do an RPG with people I'd play tabletop D & D. But my non-work related people-time is happily filled up with non-gaming stuff involving wife, child, and friends.